Europe Trip

To view Marissa's and my blog of our Europe adventures go to: www.mbneurope.blogspot.com
enjoy :)

Time for Goodbye!

“Christ has no body now on earth but yours,
no hands but yours,
no feet but yours:
Yours are the eyes through which he is to look with compassion on the world,
Yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good,
And yours are the hands with which he is to bless us now.” (St. Teresa of Avila)

My year has finally come to an end at Bethany. :( The last month went by soo quickly I can hardly believe it’s over already! It was a good last month though, I couldn’t have asked for anything better. Everyone at work was really great with sending me out and the residents were a huge encouragement as well with all their thanks. Last Wednesday we all went out to the park and played frisbee, basketball, football and hung out for my going away party. Staff and residents were invited and we had a fun afternoon in the sun.



I have been extremely blessed by the people I have met this year through bible study, church, my flat, and at work. And knowing that my time was running out, I was very conscious this past month with digging deeper into those relationships and loving them as much as I could before I had to leave (not to say the love won’t continue once I do leave). Whether it was going to the Opera for the first time, the Edinburgh Film Festival, sharing a coffee in the back garden of the centre, trying to learn guitar with the residents, going to the Frenzy concert and singing praises with the Bethany guys, exploring the tree house community in Edinburgh (pictures will be posted at a later date), discussing theology and bible stories, listening to life stories, or sharing a meal, I’ve enjoyed every minute of my time with them.

I think it may be kind of weird going home. Not weird in a bad way, just different. Living here, I’ve learned a lot about myself and I have gotten used to a way of life that is different than what life was like growing up. My challenge will be learning how to merge my life in Scotland with living in America again. I never would have thought I’d love working and living here so much but I know now that a huge part of my heart will always be in Edinburgh once I leave.

As for my future, it is completely in God’s hands. In about 6 hours I’m flying to Barcelona to meet my best friend Marissa Seuc. We will be traveling through Europe for one month together. No plan really-just our EU Railpasses, a guide book, and our packs on our backs! I’m so excited for this adventure and look forward to lots of good convos and exploring different cultures and sites around the world. I’ll return back to Edinburgh 28 July and then fly back to St. Louis on the 5th of August (meet me at the airport, 10:45 pm!! :) ). Hopefully I’ll find a job soon after that, return to university or possibly seminary…. I’m putting complete trust and faith in God that He will guide me in the right direction. His plans are always better than mine anyway!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:5

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13

I want to thank you ALL sooo much for your thoughts and prayers throughout my time here. It means a lot to me knowing I have so many people supporting my mission here and encouraging me throughout the year. I can’t wait to see you all once I get home and know that you are in my prayers as well. Love you!!!

Peace.

Christ in Others

Time is flying by! I cannot believe I am in my last month of serving at Bethany! I’m already feeling very, very sad about leaving this place and the people who have made my year so amazing.

Earlier in May I attended my last TFG+ (Time For God) conference in Oxford, England. Out of all the conferences, this one was by far my favorite. There were altogether 6 TFG+ volunteers there. We stayed in a lovely Christian Retreat Centre in the countryside called Stanton House with the most hospitable people and incredible food! For the 4 days we were there, we each had time to individually prepare a time of worship and devotion to lead the group in, we had group time to talk about what we have learned in the past year, gave presentations on our placements, discussed 20th century martyrs, and talked about where we will go from here. Going punting, walking around the city, eating ice cream, and spending time in the beautiful countryside were other highlights (see pictures).

When I was in Oxford I also had a lot of time to think and reflect about the year on my own time. I was reminded of a comment one of the residents at the centre asked me right before I left. Knowing how much I love my dog Tiger, he asked: “Blair, when you’re at home with your dog, will you still remember us?” I thought he was joking at first but soon realized he wasn’t. The answer to his question seemed so obvious to me-Of course! I will still remember each one of them!! But for him, it’s not so uncommon to see people come and go in his life. His question also made me step back and think about each one of the guys at the centre and how I will remember them because they are all close to my heart and have been some of the best teachers ever…

Stepping out in faith.
One of my jobs at the centre is to take referrals and interview guys who want to come into the centre. I can remember when I first started interviewing. I thought I was scared and nervous until I met the guy who came in. The amount of courage it takes for an addict to take that first step of faith into recovery is massive and so encouraging. I feel incredibly privileged to be one of the first contacts someone has when taking that step.

Grace.
This past month we’ve had one of our long term residents move out of the centre. After going through years of sexual abuse as a child, followed by 14 years of homelessness on the streets and addictions to both alcohol and drugs, he knew there must be more to life. To me, this man is a true testimony of accepting God’s grace. And again, by the grace of God, this now ex-resident will be starting bible college in a couple months!

Forgiveness.
God calls us to forgive others and he will forgive us and he also calls us to love our enemies. Part of the twelve steps to recovery is forgiving and restoring broken relationships. In the past year, a mother has started talking to her son for the first time in years, a child will see his dad for the first time ever, a daughter is now speaking to her father regularly, and an ex-husband is praying for his ex-wife and her new partner who are still caught up in the drug culture. I am absolutely amazed with the genuine feelings of forgiveness and amends I have seen in relationships and attitudes towards those who these guys have hurt or others who have hurt them.

Surrender.
Addiction can leave one feeling completely defeated and helpless. In Romans, Paul writes how we are all sinful, none of us are righteous, and until we accept that and stop blaming others, we won’t get better. Recently one of the guys gave his life back to Christ after walking away for a while. The joy and peace he has now after coming back to God is a reminder to me about how powerful God’s love is when we surrender our lives to him.

Perseverance.
The hardest time to seek God is when we don’t feel like it. We may feel like we put so much in to having a relationship with Him but we hear nothing back. Or, we may feel too doubtful, unworthy or too prideful. Just last week I was listening to one of the residents speak to me about some major things he is struggling with right now in his life. I was humbled to hear his source of strength and hope was persevering through prayer, even when it’s hard and remembering how much God has brought him through already.

Simplicity.
It may sound cliché but sometimes the best things in life are simple and can amount to something huge. A short trip to the nearby beach can brighten someone’s perspective on life. A simple “good morning” or “how are you doing” can reinforce that someone still cares for you when you feel like nobody does. And living life one day at a time can help lighten our burdens.

I could go on and on with short stories about how God is teaching me from these guys but I think I’ll stop here…. :) But I encourage you to look at those around you- family, friends, co-workers, etc- what are you learning from them, how is God working in those relationships?

My last day working at Bethany is the 26th of June. It’s time to savor the last of my days in Scotland.

Blessings to you all,
Peace.

Fix Your Eyes on Jesus

“…let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” Hebrews 12:1-2

This verse from Hebrews has been a real encouragement for me this past month or so as life has been full of ups and downs.

I’ve been quite busy working as usual and traveling around a bit. I had a great time visiting Winona (another ELCA volunteer) in Saltburn, England for the weekend. We ran the Redcar Half Marathon together and had a great time catching up and hanging out. I was off work for about a week over Easter because I was sick so it was a huge blessing to be healthy enough to travel to see her and run as well.

I also had the opportunity to participate in the Invisible Children Edinburgh Rescue event with my flatmate Ronnie and my friend Katy. This was an event to raise awareness about the children of Northern Uganda who have been abducted and trained as child soldiers. The event took place in 10 countries and 100 cities all over the world. All cities were “rescued” by media or a celebrity coming to the event so they could spread the news to help get the children of Northern Uganda rescued. Edinburgh had the pleasure of being rescued by Billy Boyd (aka Pippin-one of the Hobbits from Lord of the Rings). Everyone who participated met and slept in the Princess Street Gardens under the Edinburgh Castle for the night-absolutely gorgeous night.

Last week my parents came to visit! It’s been 8 months since I last saw them so we had a blast exploring Scotland together. I was their tour guide around Edinburgh for a couple days but during the week we went to the Isle of Mull, Iona, Dumbarton, Inverary, Loch Lomond, Glasgow, and Stirling. Dad did a great job of driving our rental car on the opposite side of the road with the steering wheel on the opposite side of the car as well! We saw a lot of castles, cathedrals, sheep, hills and Celtic culture. I was happy to introduce them to my family I’ve made here in Edinburgh too. The day they left, Dad and I ran the largest race in Edinburgh together called the Bupa Great Edinburgh 10k Run. It was an awesome experience to run through such a beautiful city with 10,000 other runners and a great way to end the week!

In between the visits and events though I find myself somewhat lost. Recently a lot of my friends both here in Scotland and back home are going through a rough time. Whether it’s domestic violence, death of a loved one, illness, injuries, or spiritual emptiness, it’s hard to know what to say or understand why they have to go through so much pain. And while it is difficult and we do feel lost sometimes when these things happen, one thing I’ve learned at the centre is that we have to keep going. Life doesn’t slow down so we have to keep running the race. As Hebrews says, we have to “fix our eyes on Jesus” and believe that he can carry us through anything this world brings us. It is my prayer that each of us can grow and learn through hardships and that we may have the perseverance to run this race of life with our eyes focused on the Lord-in the good and bad times.

Peace and God Bless.

Sunshine on Leith

It’s finally getting a little bit warmer, flowers and trees are starting to bloom and there is even a little bit of “Sunshine on Leith” in between the rainy days. This past month I’ve enjoyed a lot of time outside running, cycling, reading, visiting the beach, and just walking around beautiful Edinburgh. (If you haven’t heard of the song “Sunshine on Leith,” it’s a great song written in the 1980’s by the Scottish band, The Proclaimers. They also wrote “I Would Walk 500 Miles,” maybe you know that one better. :) )

Leith, the part of Edinburgh I live in and where Bethany Centre is located, has not always been known as the “sunny” side of town though. Leith is recognized mainly as the major port access for Edinburgh but after World War II the docks underwent severe decline. Post war, there was debate to whether some areas of Leith would become industrial or residential and the culture ended up being deprived. It became known for its roughness, prostitution, and drug sub-culture.

Across the street from what is now known as Bethany Centre there is a church called “South Leith Baptist” where Alan Berry was the pastor in the 1970's. Because of the poor condition Leith had become Berry was constantly being confronted by the needs of homeless and vulnerable people who came to the church in need of food, shelter, and money. He felt challenged by the people he was meeting and what he was teaching at the pulpit about feeding the hungry and clothing the naked.

After much prayer, Alan and his wife Anne, along with 2 other friends, became trustees and founders of the Bethany Christian Trust. The original plan was just to open a Christian hostel but finding a suitable and affordable building was difficult and came with many disappointments. Finally, they found the perfect place right across the street from the church: 6 Casselbank Street. While it used to be a night club and then a commercial hotel, through Bethany, the beautiful 150 year old Georgian building became “a place of quiet rest” just like the biblical Bethany. On 4th April 1983 Bethany was opened for business.

Fast forwarding through the rest of the history, 6 Casselbank Street eventually became what it is today: a supported community for men, a Christian recovery centre. 2008 marked the 25th anniversary of Bethany Christian Trust and has expanded greatly since it first began. Now offering a wide range of services, the centre is just one piece of the puzzle. (Check out my “What is Bethany anyway?” post to see the full range of services)

I find the story of Bethany’s history to be encouraging and an awesome testimony of how God can use one man’s vision to do something great.

Alan Berry has a great story to tell but every person has their own story as well. One of my favorite things about working at Bethany is being able to listen to and learn about the story of each guy who comes into the centre. I wish I could introduce you to each person and share with you their individual story and how they've grown but I think that would be considered a breach of confidentiality… From homelessness to wealthy lifestyles, abusive families or Christian homes, generations of addiction to first generation addicts, they are all different while they all long for the same thing: freedom.

Praise God that Bethany helps over 3,000 vulnerable people each year to get their lives back on track. May we never take for granted His power and blessings. Please pray that God’s light will continue to shine upon Bethany, all the service users and the staff.

“Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

Thoughts...

Below are some thoughts form Archbishop Oscar Romero that all the YAGMs received at our training in Chicago before we left for our countries of service. I think what it says is so important to remember and I’ve found them very helpful this year while serving at the centre.

“It helps now and then to step back and take a long view. The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.

We accomplish in our lifetime only a small fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work. Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the kingdom always lies beyond us.

No statement says all that could be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection. No pastoral visit brings wholeness. No program accomplishes the Church’s mission. No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about:
We plant seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces effects far beyond our capabilities

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it well. It may be incomplete but it is a beginning, a step along the way, and opportunity for the lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker. We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.”

-Archbishop Oscar Romero
(Murdered on 24 March 1980, El Salvador)

Day to Day

It’s been a good month for me in Edinburgh. I’ve been sitting here trying to think of one nice story to be able to share with you all that could sum it up but I’ve come to the conclusion that it has been good because I’m simply enjoying day to day life. So here’s some random stuff I’ve been up to and thinking about… :)

We’ve been busy at the centre restoring the TV room upstairs. I was excited my years of going to work camps came in handy! We took out the carpet and polished the original wood floors underneath. We also painted the walls and put some nice photography up. New curtains, pillows, and tele too! This is the room we have devotions, groups, and staff meetings in so it’s been nice to have a fresh new look in a room we spend so much time in. The centre is a very old house that used to be a bed in breakfast back in thes day. It hadn’t been redone for a REALLY long time so it was much needed and a huge blessing (especially during this credit crunch!!).

I’ve had a couple more run-ins on the street with random people -some who are looking for money and others who have just had a bit too much to drink. I’ve come to really appreciate my cell phone and have learned not to leave my flat without it. It doesn’t seem too uncommon these days to call 999 (emergency). I’m not sure if this is because I’ve just become more aware of people around me and seeing the reality of living in a city or if it’s just the time of year. Whatever it is, I’m happy to be of assistance!

This past month we said good bye to one of our residents who had been in the centre the longest out of any of the current residents. He was there for about a year and has since moved in to his own flat. He is doing great and will soon be moving to America to get married and live. I think we all miss his since of humor and the joy he brought to the house but are most definitely SO proud of him! What an encouragement and testimony he has to share now with the rest of the guys.

Another one of the residents who recently moved in has just started the groups. He has been to the centre before and gone through the 12 step program for recovery but has just recently accepted and completed step 1: We have admitted we are powerless over our addiction and our lives have become unmanageable. Keith Miller, the author of the book “A Hunger for Healing,” says: “people in the Twelve-Step programs know that until you’re hurting enough, the steps won’t work for you. But for the fortunate sufferer, there comes a time when he or she says, “I’ve got to get well. I can’t stand living like this anymore.” And that is when one is ready for the miracles of the Twelve Steps.” I find so much truth in that quote and really see it is a miracle for guys to accept and believe in each step.

On a different note-with all the deep thoughts, self reflecting, learning, analyzing life situations, experiences, in depth conversations, questions, and seriousness going on in the centre, the staff team recognizes the healing power laughter and fun have in recovery. Whether we’re drawing fake glasses on our faces with black markers, dancing in the kitchen while doing the dishes, playing pool, singing praise songs, going out on day trips, or just sitting around laughing at everyday things that turn funny, we like to have a good time!

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Kenny

Hello, Hello again! January has been a month full of moving around and traveling. It’s been crazy and tiring but at the same time, it’s what I love to do!

I welcomed the first of the New Year in with 2 great friends of mine from Mizzou (Chiara and Vanessa) who came to Scotland for a visit! In a weeks time the three of us traveled all through the beautiful highlands of Scotland. Starting in Edinburgh, then to Pitlochry, up to Inverness, and then down to Loch Ness (unfortunately we didn’t see the monster). Next we went up to the Isle of Skye and then back down to Edinburgh! We got a great deal with the bus company to take us all around, stayed at some lovely youth hostels, met some other fun travelers, went on some amazing walks, saw a lot of sheep, brilliant castles, distilleries, and we and laughed A TON! I was also able to bring them to Bethany where they were warmly welcomed by both staff and residents. It was great to be able to share with them what I’ve been up to over here and have them meet some of the people I have grown so close to.

One week later I was in Wales for my second conference with Time for God. While it was fun to meet up with other UK volunteers to hang out and share experiences, I was feeling really anxious to get back to Edinburgh by the end of the week. Mostly because I think being away from the centre for so long (especially after a weeks holiday prior to the conference) made me really miss it! I was feeling pretty disconnected from the guys lives and couldn’t wait to catch up and get back in my normal routine at the centre.

On top of that, the whole week my mind kept coming back to what happened the night before I left for the conference. It was about 8:30pm and I needed to head up to the bus station to pick up another volunteer who is working up north as we were traveling together to the conference the next day. Because it was extremely windy, cold, and rainy, I decided it would be a good idea just to take the bus up the street (even though it’s only about a 15 minute walk to the main station!).

I was a little annoyed when I got off a stop too early and had to walk the rest of the way because I was almost late already. As I quickly treaded up the street I passed 3 homeless people all sitting together on the sidewalk. I couldn’t help but notice the man sitting in the middle of 2 others under a blanket. His eyes were glazed over, he was drooling a bit from his mouth and he wasn’t responding well to the other 2 who were trying to speak to him. Considering this man did not look well at all and the weather was absolutely horrible, I thought I would stop and chat with them to make sure everything was okay and to see if they had a place to stay that night. We chatted for a short while but they were not interested in the night shelter provided through Bethany and they assured me more than once that everything would be fine with their friend, he was just feeling sick. “Ok” I thought, “I guess that’s all I can do for now.” I left.

About 5 steps later I turned around again. Something definitely didn’t feel right. I asked if I could call anyone for them; the police maybe or an ambulance? After a couple times of asking they agreed it would probably be a good idea if I dialed 999 emergency so this man (Kenny) could see a doctor. I was very happy to do so. The phone call went through right away and they said they would be there soon. Unfortunately, right as I hung up the phone the two people on the ground next to Kenny were afraid they couldn’t feel his heart beat. They started to panic.

At this point I started getting really scared as well. I’ve been certified in CPR for almost 8 years now but I’ve never had to use it. Fortunately that night I didn’t have to either. I don’t believe Kenny ever stopped breathing fully but just to make sure I bent down to try and check for a pulse. Thankfully I heard him groaning very quietly but he definitely seemed to be getting worse quickly. Still scared, I dialed 999 again and started asking for help from people who were passing by on the street. One lady who seemed about my age stopped and I gave my phone to her to speak as I had heard a recorder tell me twice not to hang up and I was “in a queue waiting to speak to emergency personnel!” I kneeled back down to try and calm down Kenny’s friends but really had no idea what to do or say that could calm them down at this point so I just prayed for Kenny. I could hear the sirens in the distance soon after. Thank God!

I stayed around long enough just to speak to one of Kenny’s friends for a while longer but left to pick my friend up who was waiting for me at the bus station. I never heard exactly what Kenny’s problem was but from the looks of him, and from how the care provider dealt with him, it seemed as if he had overdosed.

I share this story with you not to glorify myself or make you feel bad for people on the streets. I shared it with you because that situation is not one that happens to me everyday but it does happen every day. It shows how God can use us when we least expect it, when we don’t feel prepared and even when we are scared out of our minds.

The crazy thing is, before this even happened, it had been on my heart earlier on in the month to do more street work in Edinburgh because homelessness is a huge issue here. Without me telling that to anyone my small group leader spoke about it as well at our cell group (bible study) the next week. He had already lined up for us to get some training from an addiction support worker through Bethany. And come to find out, prior to the Addiction workers agreement to train us or even knowing we were interested, he had recently organized a training program on working with people in the streets and was praying for a group to share it with! I think God is definitely calling out for us to DO SOMETHING!

Life is good. Peace and God Bless.

**When I speak about “street work” I’m not talking about handing out money or going out to try and convert people to be Christian. I’m just talking about talking to real people, getting to know them, sharing stories, going out with the Bethany care van at night to give out hot tea and rolls, helping out with the night shelter, calling ambulances….stuff like that :) **