Happy Holidays!

Merry, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all!!

Edinburgh during the holidays is absolutely beautiful. The city centre has turned into a winter wonderland with blue lights covering the trees, colorful carnival rides lining the streets, Christmas markets, delightful food, ice skating in the Princess Gardens outside the castle, and constant Christmas music filling the air.

At the beginning of the month my friend Drew Schmidt just so happened to be in the UK so he came up to Edinburgh for a couple days to visit and experience the city during the pre-holiday festivities. Check out my Picasso pictures to see some pictures of our adventures-traveling to castles, cafes, and hills around Sterling and Edinburgh. I was so excited to be able to share a little bit of my life I’ve made here with a good friend from back home.

For me, Christmas time has always been a joyful time spent with close family and friends- Coming together after a busy semester at college, taking time off work, celebrating Jesus, decorating the tree, going to church on Christmas eve, playing games, baking Christmas cookies, and buying gifts. And while I love spending Christmas this way, and I missed it quite a bit, I saw Christmas in a new light this year.

I spent most of Christmas Eve and Christmas day working at Bethany with the guys. And for most of them, they remember their Christmas season pretty much the complete opposite of mine. It’s a dangerous time, a day of drinking, no family to spend it with, or no family they would want to spend it with, decorations and Christmas carols become annoying quickly, and no one can really “be bothered” with going to church. And to follow up Christmas, the day after (known as Boxing day) is the biggest day to gamble in the country.

I was nervous to say the least of how the guys would handle the holidays. For the past two weeks they have not had any groups or formal meetings as we want to give them a break over Christmas and the New Year. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. Good because they are able to totally relax but bad in a sense that too much relaxation can make one feeling extremely bored and frustrated with too much time. I know it has been a struggle for them but at the same time when I look around at each one of them, I know they are in a safe place at Bethany.

Bethany is a place where guys are able to live in a community together with common struggles. It is a place filled with people who want to listen to them and encourage them and it is a place where God’s love is overflowing.

This Christmas I was humbled and honored to be able to support and give to the guys at the centre. Although I was absolutely exhausted after cooking a meal for 20 and wrapping their gifts, it was a blessing from God to be able to shed a little bit of Jesus light onto them.

Please pray for their guidance and protection during this vulnerable time.

"Life in community is no less than a necessity for us, an inescapable 'must'... all life created by God exists in communal order and works toward community." -- Eberhard Arnold

I hope your Christmas was filled with the joy of the spirit.

Love and Peace to you all in the New Year.

Dance within the Storm

November quickly came and went for me in Edinburgh. It seems a lot has happened in a short time period since I last updated. On top of the American elections and thanksgiving, a couple UK holidays were this month as well: Remembrance day and Guy Fawkes day (aka Bonfire night).

Guy Fawkes day is celebrated annually the night of November 5th with fireworks and bonfires. On this day in 1605 a number of Catholic conspirators, including Guy Fawkes, attempted and failed to blow up the Houses of Parliment in London, England. I found in Edinburgh that fireworks were set off throughout the week, including the backyard of Bethany Centre :).

Remembrance day is a day also known as Veterans day in the US. It is a day to commemorate the sacrifices of members of the armed forces and of civilians in the times of war, specifically since the first World War. Major hostilities of WWI were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. Wee poppy pins were worn by most people and sold outside major stores in Britain.

My thanksgiving this year was spent down in Saltburn, England, a very small town south of Newcastle. My flatmate, Maria, and I went to celebrate with another ELCA volunteer, Winona. It was great to see Winona again and see how she is spending her year in England. Over 50 people from her church and community came together for an American Thanksgiving for the first time in Saltburn. It was awesome to be able to share such a special holiday and fellowship with them.

Life at the centre has been, well, up and down. Many guys have moved out, some successfully, others, not so successfully. There have been a lot of new interviews and referals this past month as the centre is almost completely full with 17 residents. Our goal is to be full by Christmas time which will not be a problem at all and I’m sure will happen soon.

With all the busyness going on, it has become a daily prayer for me to continually ask God to give me the strength for each day. Below is a poem I want to share with you. I find it very encouraging and read it quite frequently as well:

“Do not retreat into your private world,
That place of safety, sheltered from the storm,
Where you may tend your garden, seek your soul,
And rest with loved ones where the fire burns warm.

To tend a garden is a precious thing,
But dearer still the one where all may roam,
The weeds of poison, poverty, and war,
Demand your care, who call the earth your home.

To seek your soul is a precious thing,
But you will never find it on your own,
Only among the clamor, threat, and pain
Of other people’s need will love be known.

To rest with loved ones is a precious thing,
But peace of mind exacts a higher cost,
Your children will not rest and play in quiet,
While they still hear the crying of the lost.

Do not retreat into your private world,
There are more ways than firesides to keep warm;
There is no shelter from the rage of life,
So meet its eye, and dance within the storm.”

Kathy Galloway
Iona Community, Scotland

I love this poem because it really expresses a lot of my feelings with coming to the UK and leaving what is comfortable. And because of that I have come to know God in a way I never have before. Since I’ve been here people keep asking me if I have culture shock, what is the biggest difference is between where I come from and where I am now? And to answer honestly, getting past the language barrier, the biggest culture shock to me is the population I am working with. I feel like God has given me a good kick in the bum and said, “Blair, here I am! Here I am a midst the pain, depression, lonliness, boredom, anxiety, temptation and cravings. Here I am the men who are fighting a battle to find new life and to overcome a history of shame and abuse.”

Just last week some of the residents and I had the honor of attending a baptism for one of the guys staying at the centre. It was most definitely one of the coolest things I’ve done since I’ve been here. There were 9 baptisms that took place that night. Each person took turns telling their testimony and then they were fully emersed in the baptismal water. I was so proud of the our Bethany resident who boldly stood in front of a huuuuge congregation and told his story(which was quite different than the rest of the middle class, young, lads). It was awesome to see the amount of courage he had to be completely real, talking about where he came from and his past life and how God has freed him from that.

He has come face to face with the rages of life, now dancing within the storm.

This week I listened to a sermon about the brokenness of the human condition. I was again reminded, it is through the cracks in life that God shines through brightly and it is through his grace we are all held together.

Choose Joy

Happy late Halloween!
I’m a little late with my October update but there has definitely been a lot going on!

Towards the beginning of the month I was able to do some traveling outside of Edinburgh for the first time which was brilliant! Some friends of mine and I rented a car and headed up north to the highlands. We stayed the night in Fort William and climbed Ben Nevis the next morning. Ben Nevis is the tallest mountain in the United Kingdom. And when I say it’s the tallest mountain, I mean 4,406 ft. Not too high when compared to mountains in Colorado! We made it to the top in about 3 hours, had some lunch in the snow, and then headed back down in the sunshine.

The next day, because we still had the car rented, we drove the cost of Fife and ended up in St. Andrews. We walked around the university, which is absolutely beautiful, and I was also able to see where golf first began. I’m sure that would have been a bit more exciting if I enjoyed golf. But I took pictures for all of you out there who would find that interesting :). Although the trip was just for a short weekend, it was so refreshing to get out of the city and see how beautiful Scotland really is.

A couple weeks ago I also headed down south to London for my first Time for God conference. I am in the TFG+ program which is a more focused mentoring program than the larger TFG program. There were about 8 volunteers there, 5 of which are also part of the ELCA’s Young Adults in Global Mission program. It was so nice to see my friends from America again and it was awesome listening to their stories about their placements so far.

Through out my week in London we talked a lot about vocation and calling. It was good and also got me thinking about some questions: What does it mean to be called by God? How did God call people in the bible? How does God call me? Do I feel called to be where I am?

One quote that I heard over the week described a calling as “where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.” I really like that quote but then I realized that even when God called Moses in the bible, he wasn’t too keen on going at first, it definitely was not his deepest gladness. God called him to free the Israelites out of slavery and Moses kept making excuses as to why he was not willing! But he went anyway, God gave him everything that he needed and answers to all of his concerns.

I continue to question why God has called me to this place. As I mentioned in my last post, this is my first time working with addicts and it has been a bit of a rollercoaster finding my purpose at Bethany. And just like Moses, I don’t always feel adequate enough, I don’t always know what to say or what not to say, I don’t always know how to cope with hearing about tragedies and relapses. But God put me here anyway. And I know he is shaping my character and teaching me things while I am here but I need to learn how to listen to him more and figure out what he is telling me.

Some days I feel my calling here is clearer than other days. For example, a couple days ago I went in to work wearing a shirt that said “JOY” on it. Little did I know it would have such an effect on people. Several of the staff and residents told me the shirt was fitting to my personality and thanked me for being able to make them smile and bring joy into the centre. I was caught off guard by there responses but happy to share the spirit in such a simple way. By the end of the day “Joy” had become my nickname.

If everyday was as joyful as that then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard for me to feel like I have a purpose and a specific calling for each day. But I’m learning and trying to listen and seek God just as Elijah does in 1 Kings 19:11-13 and obey just as Moses did.

Hope you are all healthy and well.

Peace and God bless.

We're All In This Together

It’s always an interesting conversation when people ask me who I’m working with: Men, ages 17-70, struggling and fighting to overcome an addiction, many who are homeless before coming in, abused, or might have a criminal record. When I first heard I was working with this type of population, I was a bit nervous myself.

I was also intimidated. Not because I was afraid to talk to them, but because I couldn’t help but think: “how would I be able to relate to them? What do I have to offer? Why would any of them want to talk to a 23 year old American Girl who has never had any experience with addiction and recovery work at all?” Sure, I studied social work in college but this is so much different than reading about theories and practices in a text book!

Fortunately though, from the moment I walked into that centre, God has given me peace with where I am and I could immediately see Him working in so many hearts of the guys who are there. Ever since my first day, I have felt nothing but welcomed into the centre and I have learned so much. I know God has given us all different gifts to use in his service, and I am honored to be able to serve him in whatever way I can here. I always think we would both (the residents and I) be able to relate so much better if I had struggled with an addiction myself. But I have learned that even though I haven’t, I have experienced what it means to depend on something, or someone, I have felt pain, loneliness, bitterness, anger, and hopelessness. And by the grace of God, I am also able to share what it means to love and depend on someone and something so much greater than anything else-the freedom of a faith and hope in Jesus! :)

A typical day for me is 8 hours (once a week I do a sleepover with another member of staff). When I arrive the staff and I have what we call a “handover” where we are informed about what each resident has been up to on the previous shift and how they are doing. After that, we have bible study with the residents-we sing a few songs and then study the word. The devotions always reflect and encourage guys in their recovery. Monday through Friday they have groups where all the guys gather to discuss and learn about the steps through recovery and share different experiences. Lunch then follows (made by one of the residents). Throughout the day, many of the guys have one-on-one meetings with their “keyworker” to talk about practical matters (volunteer work, helping them find a flat once they’re ready to move out, any issues within the centre, etc). We also have an addiction worker who meets with each resident about once a week to counsel them individually. Most nights there is an activity-football (soccer), quiz night, praise night, or a pool competition.

I also spend a lot of time “holding the fort” or working in the main office. There, I answer the phone, take referrals, hang out with the residents, and hand out medications or petty cash. I’ve really enjoyed my time “holding the fort” because it gives me a chance to get to know the residents and their story on a more informal basis.

So far the biggest struggle for me has been seeing one of the residents leave after only being in for a little over two weeks. He arrived not long after I came to Bethany so it was nice talking to someone else who also was “new.” Unfortunately though he decided he wasn’t ready for recovery and wanted to leave after already attempting to go a couple times earlier on in the week.

It was hard for me to see him go but the more I thought about it I began to feel like there was hope that he will come back one day. It’s not easy for anyone to accept the fact that by coming to recovery they need to give up their dependency, their old friends, their hobby, and their previous life.

The fact is, God does not love you or I anymore than he loves anyone else in this world. We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). We’re all in this together, not one of us better than another. We fall down and we have to get back up again. It may take a couple of times to get something right but the good news is God is with us through it all and he will NEVER give up on any of us.

Please pray for the men staying at Bethany Christian Centre.
Romans 12:12- “Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying.”

What is Bethany anyway?

First month down! As I sit back and reflect on my time here in Edinburgh so far, I can’t help but praise God for all he has given me. I’m attending a bible study every Tuesday where I have met some great friends, going to work everyday is something I look forward to, and being surrounded by an environment that I’m not quite used to yet excites me!

Since my last update I have been through about 3 weeks of induction at the centre which in turn has helped me quite a bit in understanding the extent of what Bethany Christian Trust does for Edinburgh. Just to clear things up a bit, I’ll give you the break down because it is a really awesome organization! It offers 7 levels of care within Edinburgh:

1. Street Work- Nightly food, blankets and clothing; drop in centres providing basic support, addiction and housing advice
2. Emergency Accommodation (Bethany House)-Resettlement Hostel
3. Specialist Units
-Bethany Centre (this is where I work)-residential addictions unit for men
-Matthew House-resettlement hostel for young men
-Martha House-supported hostel for young women
4. Supported Housing
5. Home Furniture Provision- furniture for people who are on low income
6. Community Education- Bridging the gap between homeless services and formal education; Supporting vulnerable people through formal education; Facilitating volunteering and employment opportunities
7. Community Integration- Providing networks and skills to prevent homelessness Employment, apprenticeships and volunteering placements

Bethany is great because it’s the type of organization that is intervening at all levels of poverty and helping people break the cycle, allowing them to live on their own as an active member of the community. It’s also completely God centered but not restricting to anyone who wants to come in who is not a Christian.

Working at the centre-The staff is friendly and very hospitable. They are all super funny and down-to-earth which makes for a fun and family-like atmosphere.

Pretty cool, eh?

First week!

Family and Friends, Welcome to my blog! This is where you can find my monthly updates.

As most of you already know, I am in Edinburgh, Scotland for the next year with the ELCA Lutheran Church's-Young Adults in Global Mission (YAGM). I am also here through a program called Time For God (TFG) which YAGM partners with. TFG places volunteers all around the United Kingdom. My placement is at Bethany Christian Centre where I will be working on the recovery side of things as men are overcoming addictions. The centre provides access to a Christian recovery program including structured group work, one-to-one support, recreation, work activities and training opportunities.

I have been here in Edinburgh for a week now. Prior to coming I was in Chicago for a week with the rest of the YAGMs doing training for our year abroad. Other young adults are spending their year all over the world-Kenya, South Africa, Jeruselum/West Bank, India, Slovakia, Argentina, Uruguay, Mexico, and the UK (mostly in England). Like I said, I am in Scotland and to be honest, this is the last place I thought I would end up after I applied. I thought for sure I would be somewhere in Africa because of my experience there but I guess that's not where God wanted me. And I'm okay with that! So far I love Edinburgh and I am overjoyed to start this next year learning about my purpose here and how God will use me.

The past couple weeks have been packed with saying goodbye to family and friends, forming new relationships, learning about a new culture, how to understand the Scottish accent, and adapting to different accommodation and lifestyle. While it has all been a bit tiring, I feel a lot more prepared with coming into this experience after the week in Chicago. We talked a lot about what it means to be a missionary and how we as young adults should go about being a missionary in the 21st century by having a "ministry of presence." Basically, this is more relationship based rather than preaching on the streets and forcing faith on someone.

I am now living in a flat with 4 others who are working at Bethany as well. We come from all over the place-Northern Ireland, Sweden, Tanzania, Uganda, and me, the American. The next two weeks we all have more induction stuff but after that we should be on more of a normal schedule and I'll be able to tell you more about what my job will be! All in all, I'm happy to be here and so blessed to have you all supporting me! Peace and God bless!!

If you feel like sending me some mail...my address is :)

313/6 Leith Walk
Edinburgh, Scotland
EH6 8SA